


The Magic Which Found Us

by Styx_in_the_mud



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Fluff, Gen, M/M, Sleepless in Seattle AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-04-24
Updated: 2013-11-21
Packaged: 2017-12-09 08:49:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/772320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Styx_in_the_mud/pseuds/Styx_in_the_mud
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arthur is recently widowed and moves, with his young son to Seattle. Merlin is stuck in a relationship which has no spark. All little Morderd wants is for his daddy to be happy again. This is their story. Eventual Merthur, Sleepless in Seattle AU, written with Wheresmyjawn.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Wheresmyjawn has written everything in Arthur's POV
> 
> Styx_in_the_mud has written everything in Merlin's POV

Partly cloudy. The weather forecast for the day of the funeral had said “partly cloudy, possible light showers in the evening.”

It’s 11:00 am and the grass is bowing under the wind and water. The gravediggers are working painfully slowly, and Arthur watches silently as the dark lacquered lid of the coffin disappears. The graveyard stretches to the foggy horizon, fading into hazy greens and greys, and it looks for a moment like the ghosts of all the people buried there have risen to welcome the newcomer into their shadowy world, but reality returns with a violent shake of his head and the haze over the graveyard is nothing but mist and rain once again.

They chose the spot on the day the doctor told them. They listened very calmly while the doctor said, with too much forced sympathy, that she had approximately two months to live. Then she asked a few questions about the progression of the illness and quietly stood up and walked out of the office, without so much as a backwards glance at Arthur.

He didn’t know how to react at the time. He knew he should have been panicking at the news that in two short months he would be alone, a single grieving parent of a six year old boy, but he was perfectly calm and composed until he walked into the waiting room and saw Gwen kneeling in front of Mordred, holding him gently by his thin shoulders and saying “-and then you’ll take care of Daddy for me, won’t you?” and Mordred started crying and Gwen said “No, don’t cry” and then “No, don’t cry” turned into “you’re a big boy, calm down” turned to an angry “stop it Mordred, stop it!” and then she was sobbing, tears rolling down dark caramel cheeks and her long, thin fingers were gripping him tightly enough to leave little pucker marks in his shirt and her knuckles whitened.

The waiting room was empty and sterile and impersonal, and she kept repeating “stop, Mordred stop, stop crying, stop,” as she pulled him closer and muffled tiny, desperate sobs with his soft blue t-shirt.  Arthur had felt like he was suffocating and he walked towards his shattered family, but when he reaches out to touch Gwen’s shoulder the memory breaks into stinging shards and he’s back in the graveyard, under the pouring rain, watching the box containing the love of his life being covered slowly in soft, fresh dirt.

He briefly considers sinking to his knees and screaming at the sky and cursing god, beating his fists on the ground and tearing at his waterlogged funeral suit, but instead he clasps his hands tightly behind his back and slowly, deliberately turns his back.

He walks between the forgotten graves of other people’s loved ones, to the pale gravel path and out the wrought iron gate. He steps into his car and there, safe behind tinted glass and expensive leather, he slumps against the wheel and sobs.

His shoulders are shaking and he’s rocking back and forth and rivulets of salty tears mix with cold rainwater, running down his cheeks and onto his collar until his gasps and shudders slow, and nothing has changed. Gwen is still lying, cold and silent, in a red-velvet lined box under the earth waiting to rot and be forgotten, Mordred still has no mother, and Arthur is broken and alone and lost. He watches the rain through red-rimmed eyes, and wonders if it’s strong enough to erode away what’s left of his world.


	2. Chapter 2

“So Gwaine is your cousin on your mother’s side?” questions Lancelot, attempting to push his shaggy dark hair out of his eyes without dropping the four gaudily wrapped Christmas presents in his hands.  
“Right” said Merlin, struggling with his own load “He’s the family drunk, where there is alcohol, Gwaine won’t be far behind.”  
“And Gwaine is married to Elena-”  
“A lively girl who can’t stand still without tripping.”   
Lancelot chuckled as he loaded the presents into his car and said “Your mother is Hunith, your father is Balinor, and your uncle is Gaius” he continued, ticking them off on his fingers.  
“Don’t let him catch you on your own, or he’ll bore you to death with all his talk about ‘the latest advancements in medicine’”  
“Honestly Merlin I don’t know how I’m going to remember all of this.”  
“You’ll do fine Lance.” he replied, pecking the other man on the cheek.   
They got into their respective cars (due to the alarming number of presents, two different cars were needed to transport both men and their holiday cheer on their six hour drive to Merlin’s childhood home). “See you in six hours” called Merlin out of his window. 

Dinner at the Emrys household was interesting, as always.   
“So Lancelot, how did you and Merlin meet?” asked Hunith from the other end of the table.   
“Well, we met in a bar, Merlin’s friend had gone home early, and he needed a ride back home.”  
“Was he inebriated at the time?” asked Gaius suspiciously  
“No uncle” replied Merlin quickly “You know I don’t like to drink”  
“MERLIN NEVER COULD HOLD HIS LIQUOR” boomed Gwaine “EVER SINCE WE WERE-”  
“Oh hush Gwaine! Oh damn!” in her efforts to quiet her husband, Elena had knocked over her glass.  
Merlin rolled his eyes and raised his voice in an attempt to make himself heard over the chaos  
“Can I have your attention please?” The only response was a guffaw from Gwaine and more muttered swears from Elena. Off to the side, Hunith had teamed up with Gaius to cross-question Lance, and Balinor presided over it all like a benevolent overlord.   
“Oh good lord- CAN I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE?”  
A hush settled over the room. “Thank you. Lance and I have an announcement to make.” Merlin held up his hand, and showed off a simple sliver band.  
For a moment, there was no reaction, and then Elena squealed.  
“OH MY GOD!!!!”   
Gwaine slapped Lance on the back, nearly sending him flying into the dessert, and Hunith had enveloped Merlin in a hug.  
“Merlin my boy, when’s the big day?” asked Gauis  
“Oh Merlin, you must have a summer wedding.” Cooed Elena  
“Ah, I remember our wedding, don’t you dear?” said Hunith  
“How could I forget?” replied Balinor “We had fresh strawberries and lobster salad” he turned to Merlin “No wedding is complete without fresh stawberries and lobster salad”  
“Lance is allergic to strawberries, and he doesn’t eat lobster. He’s a vegetarian.”  
The conversation continued in this manner, everyone talking over each other, and Merlin fending off premature wedding plans. It was much later, when the others had turned in and Merlin was sharing a hot cup of tea with his mom, that it truly hit him. He was engaged.   
“I remember when I first set eyes on your father. We were in New York, Broadway actually. Your father was a stagehand at the theater. Our eyes met, and we felt it.”  
“Felt what?”  
“Well…the magic. You know, that warm feeling, like you’ve found your other half. Well, you must feel it when you’re with Lance.”  
“Right.” said Merlin. In all honesty, he had no clue what his mother was talking about. It was ridiculous; “magic” is not an integral part of every relationship. But as he went to bed that night, Merlin couldn’t help but wonder if there was something missing between him and Lance.


	3. Chapter 3

Arthur couldn’t quite remember why he’d called Leon into his office, but it had seemed important at the time. That was two hours ago, and they both had a vague feeling that they should be working, but instead they were mostly watching the traffic slink by through the huge floor-to-ceiling tinted glass windows. Leon had gone for coffee a while ago, and now those cups had joined a whole pile of others overflowing from the office’s tasteful little trash can.  
Leon broke another round of not-quite-awkward silence.  
“So... how’s Mordred?”  
“What?”  
“Mordred?”  
“What about him?”  
“How is he?”  
“Uh... well. He’s well. Thanks.”  
He never took his eyes off the road below.  
“Look, are you alright?”  
“yeah, fine. Just... yeah, I’m fine.”  
“Are you sure? you look a bit lost.”  
Arthur shook his head and tore his gaze away from the street three stories below. He turned his head before his eyes as if it took physical effort to look at Leon. He winced a bit when he finally made eye contact.  
“I’m fine, Leon. It’s fine. I’m just distracted and really busy with the house and packing and planning and being a single parent and everything.”  
“The house?”  
“Yeah... the house... packing... Seattle... you know... the house.”  
“Sorry what? Are you going somewhere?”  
“Come on Leon, you KNOW this. Mordred and I are moving to Seattle. A change of scenery and all that. We’ve talked about it.”  
“Nope, I’m pretty sure I would remember if my brother in law and best friend said he was moving to fucking seattle!”  
“Really? oh. I thought I told you. Well we got a house. It’s nice enough, on the edge of a lake. We’ll be leaving in three weeks.”  
“You’re kidding.”  
“Um nope....”  
“You bought a fucking house. In fucking Seattle. Without telling your. Best. Friend.”  
“Uh... I thought I had tol-”  
“And you’re leaving in 3 weeks.”  
“yeah...”  
“For Seattle.”  
“Yeah... look I’m sorry I thought I had told you, I guess it just slipped my mind. Mordred and I need to get out of here, we just need a bit of a change, you know?”  
“If you need a change, you get a new job or redecorate your house or start smoking weed or pick up a hobby or a mistress or a dog. You don’t move to fucking SEATTLE!”  
“Well I needed a Seattle-sized change, okay? You and Morgana can come visit me. I’ll pay for your plane tickets myself, my new salary will be a lot bigger-”  
“Listen Arthur, I know you’re a bit of a mess right now, I know you miss her, I know. But you can’t just pick up and leave everything, you can’t just-”  
“Leon, stop. Why not. Why the fuck not? It’s new. And I won’t find someone else like her, so I might as well let Mordred see a bit more of the world.”  
“Don’t you dare pretend you’re doing this as a favor to Mordred. Don’t you dare. You’re selfish and juvenile and you’re blinded by loss, and you’re doing everything you can to run from your problems and focus on everything negative in your life. I’m not saying you need to move on, but you at least need to face it. Maybe get therapy or a massage or something.”  
Arthur just rolled his eyes towards the sky. “I’m going. I’ve already bought the house and accepted a job. Mordred will love it. We’ll have a little boat and everything.”  
“Arthur I don’t thi-”  
“LEON. We’re going. It’s already set. Please. I can’t just stay here. Please just leave it.”  
Silence fell. Leon looked out the window silently, and far below, the light turned green. The traffic snaked past. The light had turned yellow and red and green again before Leon spoke again.  
“Morgana won’t like it.”  
“I told her. She was fine with it.”  
“No you didn’t, she would have told me and she wouldn’t have been at all fine with it.”  
“Oh... I thought we had talked about it...”  
“Arthur, you’re losing it.”  
“Oh. Maybe.”  
Leon sighed heavily and leaned heavily against the glass, turning his entire body towards his friend. “I’ll help you pack if you ask nicely.” It was a peace offering Arthur knew he didn’t deserve, and a few beats passed in mutually apologetic silence.  
“Thank you.”  
“You’ve kind of forced my hand, Arthur. But still. You’re welcome. You’re my best friend and you’ll always be welcome.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's a special chapter, seeing as we both worked on it together, as usual I wrote the Merlin parts and my Partner in Crime wrote the Arthur and Mordred parts. Warning: Here there be shifting POV

-(Merlin)-

After what was possibly the most chaotic holiday Merlin had had in a long time, it was finally time to go home. Because they brought so many presents for Merlin's family, causing Merlin and Lancelot had made the trip in two cars, Lancelot was able to leave about an hour and a half earlier. After a heartfelt goodbye to his mother, and a noogie from Gwaine (“Come on Gwaine, we’re not six anymore!” “Oh shut up and take it like a man, Merlin!”), Merlin began to make his way back to Baltimore. The day had been filled with seasonal cheer, and unfortunately for Merlin, almost all the radio stations were playing Christmas songs. Merlin hated Christmas songs. Finally, after about 10 minutes of channel flipping, he finally found a half decent, non-Christmassy talk show.

“This is Dr. Morgause Goloris, and as always, I’m ready to listen to you. In spirit of the holidays, today’s theme is Christmas Wishes, so call in and tell us, what is your Christmas wish?”

Merlin groaned, “Just what I need” he thought “another quack granting people ‘Christmas wishes’”

“Our first caller comes from Seattle, Washington. Welcome to the show, what’s your name?”

He snorted, and was just about to change the channel again, when from the radio came the voice of a child. He didn’t sound older than eight.

“My name is Mordred”

“Hello Mordred, and what is your Christmas wish?”

“My wish is that my daddy can be happy again”

 

-(Mordred)-

 

“My wish is that my daddy can be happy again.” The moonlight filtering through the crack in the curtains hit the floor a few inches to Mordred’s left, leaving him in semi-darkness.

“How old are you, Mordred?”

He flinched at her condescending amusement and took a deep breath. “It shouldn’t matter. I’m not even calling for myself.”

“Okay, I’m sorry Mordred, tell us about your dad then. Why don’t you think he’s happy?”

“He looks too much. He’s quiet and Uncle Leon is gone and he’s always home and quiet and looking.”

Morgause’s tinny voice rang out in the near-silence of the empty lake house. “What do you mean, he looks too much?”

Mordred pulled his hair back from his face, uncomfortable having to explain. “He. Well. He used to always do things, you know? It was all so fast, one thing after another. He would take dishes out of the oven without mitts, he would get in the car without keys, he would leave the house without shoes because he was so excited and so ready for the next thing, so focused on DOING things.” He sniffed and dug his short nails into his palm. _I won’t cry. This isn’t about me._ “Now he just sits there and watches the world go by. He used to do things without planning, now he plans without doing anything.” deep breath. Inhale. Exhale. “If mommy had lived in this house with us we would have gone fishing or something. We would be out on the lake, doing things but instead he just sits there and when I talk he jumps, like he forgot he wasn’t alone” Mordred’s voice cracked on the last word and he focused on controlling his breathing. _You’re young, not stupid. Pull yourself together._ _Now! This isn’t about you. This is important._

By the time he’s under control again Morgause is talking. “Well, where’s your mom? Sounds like he’s missing her, so maybe if she came back...?” The implication that she might come back, that she might just walk in the door with bags of groceries and kiss him on the cheek and start making dinner stings like the rubbing alcohol she used to put on his scrapes and bruises.

“She’s dead.”

“Oh, Mordred, I’m so sorry I didn’t-”

He can’t take the pity. “It’s fine.” It’s not. “I’m over it.” He isn’t. “I just want daddy to be happy.” That, at least, is the truth.

“What’s this about daddy being happy?”

Mordred jumps. He hadn’t heard the porch door open, but obviously Arthur knows something’s going on.

“Hello? Mordred? Who’s that? Is your dad there?”

“Um. Yes.”

“Can I talk to him please?”

Arthur raises an eyebrow and holds his hand out for the phone.

 

-(Merlin)-

 

Merlin could feel tears stinging at his eyes. The story he was hearing on the radio was both adorable and heartbreaking. The little boy on the other end of the line seemed to be just holding himself together for the sake of his dad. Merlin let out a wistful sigh. Suddenly, there was another voice on the line: “What’s this about daddy being happy?” Merlin stifled a gasp, as Morgause asked Mordred to hand the phone to his dad. There was just something about that voice...

 

-(Arthur)-

 

Arthur had been thinking about Gwen again. She was everywhere. The city lights across the lake looked like the view from their honeymoon hotel-suite balcony, she’d bought the shirt he was wearing for him when he spilled coffee on himself on their first date, the blue tablecloth had been her makeshift baby-carrier for Mordred when Arthur was between jobs and couldn’t see the point in spending money on anything and oh she’d always loved boat rides...

He spent hours on the wooden deck the first night there, just watching the wind-ruffled lake slapping against the pier, thinking about what she would have said about the house before remembering that Mordred hadn’t eaten and easing the doors open. He was startled to hear voices inside before remembering that Mordred had started listening to the radio whenever Arthur was being maudlin so he didn’t feel so alone.

 _No, that’s Mordred’s voice, not the radio... what’s going on?_ he stepped into the room on the tail end of a sentence and saw Mordred curled around a pillow on the floor by the pile of boxes that hid the couch.

“-daddy to be happy.”

“What’s this about Daddy being happy?” Arthur tried and failed to hide his amusement.

He heard a woman’s tinny voice over the line, indistinct words blurring together like too-loud static.

“Um. Yes.” Mordred was clearly still speaking to the woman on the phone, leaving Arthur’s question unanswered until-

“ _Can I talk to him please?_ ” and Mordred’s mouth tightened a bit as he hesitated before placing the phone in Arthur’s outstretched hand and running out of the room.

“Hello?”

“ _Hi, I’m Doctor Morgause Goloris and you’re on Sleepless in Seattle! tonight we’re talking about Christmas wishes, and your son Mordred - is that right? Mordred?_ ” She continued without waiting for an answer, “ _Called to say he’d use his Christmas wish to bring you joy again after your wife’s passing. Is there anything you’d like to add?_ ”

Arthur pulled the phone away from his ear and stared at it.

“ _hello?_ ”

Mordred edged back into the room cradling the other phone, and Arthur stared at him.

“Um. You’ve gotta be shitting me.” He mouthed you called a radio station?!?!? to Mordred, who had the grace to look embarrassed.

“ _Mr.... Sir, this is live, please keep your language appropriate._ ”

“Um. Ok. Hi, I’m Arthur, and I’m hanging up.”

“Dad!” Mordred sounded petulant.

“Mordred!” Arthur was not amused.

“She could help!”

“ _yeah, I could help!_ ”

“I don’t need help.”

“Yes you do,” Mordred and the phone chorused.

“Wha- Mordred! You’re supposed to be on my side in this!” Mordred just smirked back at him.

“ _With all due repect, sir, I think he is on your side. We all are. You seem very lonely. Why don’t you tell us about your late wife?_ ”

“My wife is- my wife, Gwen, was my sister’s roommate in college. I guess he kind of set us up.” As Arthur started losing himself in memories his smile spread from his voice to his eyes, thinking about the woman he had devoted his life to. “I was so... wrong. I was so angry and so broken and so scarred by my own hate and prejudice and anger combined with my father’s that i couldn’t see past my own flaws, so i hid, and she was the only person besides my best friend who could see past the anger, past the fear and cruelty and try to salvage whatever was left.” The smile started to wobble. “She made me a better person, and I don’t know if I can still be that person without her here. She was strength and light and wisdom and peace and there will never be anyone like her again.” By the end of his speech there were tears running down his face. He hadn’t spoken about her that much since she was alive and it hurt like hell. Mordred was listening silently, just watching with wide, worried eyes.

“ _She sounds like a wonderful woman, Arthur._ ”

Arthur let out a short, humorless laugh. “That’s like saying the ocean is a bit damp.”

“ _Do you think you could ever feel the same way about someone else?_ ”

“I... it’s hard to say. It’s difficult to think about right now, but I really don’t think that I’ll ever be able to love another woman without comparing her to Gwen, and she would always, always pale in comparison to my wife. I loved her, Doctor, and I always will. There’s not a woman on earth who could hold a candle to my Guinevere.”

 

-(Merlin)-

 

There was something about Arthur’s voice that stuck with Merlin, pulled him in and held him captive as his story was told. The way he was talking about his wife made it obvious that he had been madly in love, like he and Lance were. Actually, it didn’t feel like his and Lance’s relationship. Merlin felt that this was something purer, and somehow better.

 

-(Arthur)-

 

It was true night by the time Arthur managed to convince Morgause that there was nothing she could do for him. He’d sent Mordred off to bed after he dozed off, curled into Arthur’s side on the couch and he was alone when he quietly thanked her, pushed the “end call” button and stepped out into the freezing December air to watch the last stars appear over the city.

The water lapped against the wooden porch quietly and the roar of traffic was muffled by distance. Arthur closed his eyes and imagined he could feel her presence all around him. “Guinevere.” He breathed in her imagined presence before opening his eyes and staring up at the stars. “I miss you.”

The waves kept lapping against the pier, and the world remained entirely ignorant of his heartbreak. He straightened his back and turned on his heel, back towards the warmth of the house. _She’s dead._ He locked the glass double doors. _And she’s not coming back._

He watched the waves for a few more minutes, hands clasped, feet apart, before walking to the kitchen. He flipped open his pocket knife and began cutting open boxes.

 

-(Merlin)-

 

Stopping at a small, slightly shabby roadside diner, Merlin hurriedly wiped away a stray tear before entering the establishment.

“Did ya hear him though?” said one of the waitresses to another “That was true love that’s what it was!”

The other giggled and said “I’d like to give him some comfort, if you know what I mean!”

Merlin cleared his throat “Can I have a coffee to go please?” he asked

One of the waitresses nodded, before continuing on with the conversation, “And that little boy of his, Mordred? He sounded like the most precious thing!”

Merlin froze. These women were obviously talking about the man on the radio, Arthur. For some reason it made him angry. Arthur’s emotion was, well, genuine, and these people’s reactions irked him. He cleared his throat again “Coffee, please.”

“Yeah, yeah” said the waitress, placing a Styrofoam cup in front of him, “That’ll be $2.50” she  said. Merlin paid and hurried out the door as the women began to gossip again, the words “I bet he’s hot” following him into the frosty air. As he got into the car, Merlin couldn’t help but agree.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin's back in Baltimore, but he can't get Arthur and Mordred out of his head

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is all me, though it was beta'd by the wonderful Wheresmyjawn any locations you don't recognize are probably made up.

Three days after that snowy drive, Merlin and Lance had settled back into their normal routine. Merlin knew he should have been happy with this, and he was, really, but he couldn’t stop thinking about Arthur, Mordred, and Sleepless in Seattle. They were constantly there, niggling in the back of his mind, even as he spent the rest of his holidays with his soon to be husband. Throughout a pub night with their friends, their trip to the museum, and their Doctor who marathon, he couldn’t stop thinking about that lonely man and his son in Seattle. It wasn’t until Merlin reluctantly returned to work that the radio show finally slipped his mind.

The headquarters of the Baltimore Times always appeared to be busy, a vision of flashing computer screens with a soundtrack of ringing phones and beeping chat boxes. Of course, as one of the head writers for the paper, Merlin knew better than anyone that it was only a façade; half the employees were playing scrabble or solitaire, and at about eighty percent of the calls and messages were personal. He walked past them into the first conference room, where he found Cedric, Gilli, and his best friend Will. He grabbed a cup of coffee from the nearby pot before plopping down between Will and Cedric.

“What’s up?” he asked, taking a sip.

“We’re just discussing possible stories for the Tuesday issue,” replied Cedric, scribbling notes on a spare scrap of paper.

“Anything good?”

“There’s the play they’re putting up on Friday,” said Gilli, leafing through a sheaf of paper in his hands.

“Mmmm… too local.” said Merlin thoughtfully

“Rising worries about climate change?” said Cedric, looking over Gilli’s shoulder

“Didn’t we write about that last week?” asked Will, taking the papers from Gilli and shuffling through them “Oh, what about this, phone lines in the greater Chicago area tied up for hours after some kid calls a radio show and says he wants a new mom. 2000 ladies called the station asking for his number.”

Merlin straightened up “I heard that show! Kid calls up, says his dad’s always sad and wants him to be happy. Then the dad comes on and the host tries to get him to open up. For a second you think he’s going to hang up, right? But then, out of nowhere, he starts talking about how much he loved wife. It was beautiful, made me tear up. You know, like the commercial with the boy and his dog.”

Cedric and Gilli shared a look.

Will, who was used to this sort of behavior from his friend, said “or the jewelry ad, with the old people?”

“Exactly!”

Cedric raised an eyebrow, but Will turned serious. “Write it.”

“Write what? Is that even a story?”

“You could make it a story.”

Gilli shook his head “I agree with Merlin, 2000 women calling up a radio station looking for a husband is pretty weird, but it’s not exactly newsworthy, is it?”

Cedric nodded sagely. “Some people are pretty desperate. Especially after a certain age. You know, it’s easier to be killed by a terrorist than it is to get married over the age of forty.”

“That’s not true!” said Merlin indignantly “Right Will?” he asked looking to his friend for support.

“Of course it’s not true” he shot back indignantly, but under his breath added “but it feels true”. Not quietly enough because Cedric replied “It feels true because it is true.”

“There is literally an entire book about why that statistic is not true. I would know, I wrote a piece about it.” said Merlin defensively

“Geeze, calm down, you brought it up”

“I didn’t bring it up, Cedric. I mean did you even read the book?”

“Did anyone read that book cover to cover?”

Merlin blushed. Even he hadn’t read it all the way through; it was probably the driest book  he’d ever had to report on. He opened his mouth to argue anyway but Will interrupted.

“Are the two of you finished?”

Neither of them answered.

“Okay then, where were we? Merlin?”

Merlin, however, was lost to his own thoughts.

“If someone is a widower, why do they say they were widowed? Why don’t they say they were widowered?”

The other three looked at him oddly.

“What?” he sounded defensive even to himself “I was just wondering.”

Merlin couldn’t keep his focus for the rest of the meeting, and when they broke for lunch Will called him on it.

“What was all that about?” he asked as they walked to their usual café.

“What?”

“What’s with you?”

“Nothing’s with me. What’s with you?”

Will ignored the second part of the statement “Something’s with you.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Well, whatever it is, you can tell me. I’m your best friend, remember.”

“I know.”

“Good.”

They walked the rest of the way in silence. When they were seated at their usual table and had placed their orders, Merlin spoke.

“Sleepless in Seattle.”

“Sleepless in Seattle?”

“That’s the name of the show.”

“Okay, so we can make that list 2,000 ladies and one guy.” said Will with a smirk

“Huh?”

“He called a radio show! You don’t know anything about him! He could be a crackhead, a rapist, a serial killer, mentally ill, or he could be really nuts like my Freya.”

Merlin stared out the window absentmindedly. “Actually, he sounded kind of nice”

“Oh?” Will glanced over at Merlin and his eyes widened as though he’d just figured out all the secrets of the universe. "Oooooooh!"

“What?”

“Now we’re getting somewhere.”

“What?” then suddenly he understood. “It’s not like that!” he said smacking Will’s shoulder “I’m madly in love with Lance, you know that. In fact, he did the craziest thing the other day.” Merlin chuckled, trying to remember exactly what it was that Lance had done. “What was it? Oh it was so funny!” He struggled with the memory. “Oh god, it was so funny, we were laughing for a good twenty minutes.”

Will gave him a strange look and Merlin sobered up, distressed. They finished the rest of their lunch in silence.

~

A few days later at Lance’s company’s New Year’s Eve party, Merlin was still antsy. What did it mean, if he couldn’t remember funny little things his fiancé did? These thoughts were still spinning as he danced with Lance.

“You know, I was thinking,” said Lance.

“Hmm?” asked Merlin, startled out of his thoughts.

“I have to go up to Boston for the meeting with Anhora inc.”

“Yes?” asked Merlin, struggling a little to keep time and a hold a conversation at the same time. Lance, bless him, didn’t seem to notice.

“So I was thinking, we could meet up in New York, for Valentine’s Day weekend.”

“Oh, Lance!” said Merlin delightedly.

“We could stay at the plaza”

“Go ice-skating in Central Park,”

“Register.”

“Register?”

Lance spun him around once “Yeah, you know, for China patterns, silverware, all of that”

Merlin wasn’t quite sure how to respond, so instead said “I could take you to Chinatown for dim sum”

“Does it have meat?”

“There are vegetarian kinds too, I think.”

Lance grinned, and began to hum along with the music as they continued to dance.

Merlins feeling that something wasn’t quite right persisted through the new years countdown, Lance's kiss and the silent drive home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's her turn next, so stay tuned


End file.
